Face-off

Apparently this look-a-like has fooled even the closest of friends.

Fragility of Life

His head hung low. Very low.
His 6ft frame slurs, speech slouched.
His eyes black as death, spirit blinded.
Body full of hurt, heart lacked strength.
A loss of life, own found but not tonight.
Lost his life-giver, gained the creator.

Words incoherent. Actions incoherent.
Chin up, catching teardrops.
Beauty couldn't hide the pain, suffering.
Smile, like the horizon, was all he could muster.
He hears but cries of the oceans.
Sees waves of gloom written all over their faces.
His head hung full of sorrow, his neck couldn't bear.

The eldest son, losing his mother.
Yet, found his father.
Lost a life doing good.
Separated at birth, now united as brothers.
Oh, the fragility of life.

I attended 2 wakes in 2 days. And saw the fragility of life. Today was the cremation of my aunty, of whom I am not familiar. I've seen her somewhere, during reunions or in old photographs. But I can't tell which. Her two sons share a telling story.
This poem depicts what I saw, most captivating was the eldest son. The eldest looked nothing like her. I've never seen a grown man so life-less. Even at best, lifeless would be an understatement. When people mentioned his name during testimonies, he barely lifted his head and stared back unto the floor. He had to use both his arms to lift a drink packet. It wasn't just a single life lost, his was seemingly out too. I witness another wake on Saturday, where I didn't see a grown man cry, but I saw worse. His eyes red from crying.

The grief of losing a loved one even sometimes too much a man can bear.

First Love (II)

Okay, my last post didn't sound all that grammatically correct. It's because I wanted to protect the identity of her. But the heck with it this time.

Her name's Yanfen. We were in the same class in the first two years of primary (elementary) school. I believe we were in 1/8(Grace) in St. Hilda's Primary School. I can't recall much, I remember her being very pretty, very quiet, very fair. I can't recall much about Penmanship or how many squirrels were hiding in the text book. I remembered my classmates. I remembered making Junkang cry. We were taking some files from the drawer, and I closed the drawer on his fingers, boohoo. And there were the twins, Jonathan and David. I remember Linna Peh, currently a model and Ms World Singapore finalist (who would have guessed), Shihua, Diana and Yanfen. I remembered Ms Quah bringing the top 5 students to the Science Center, we sat in her car and went on our little fieldtrip especially the MacDonalds.

It was probably in primary 2(2nd grade) when I started having a crush on her. Being the over-sensitive me, I thought everyone else was liking her too. At that time, I didn't know what cooties was, I was vaccinated. So Yanfen had a birthday party at MacDonalds! The one at Bedok, right under the Princess Cinema. So I remember my dad dropping me off, and the entire way there, my parents were all "making fun" of me.

At the party, there were balloons and paper hats and Yanfen. I was ushered into a corner. There, I was in my own world. I remembered not caring about the games and the clown, all I wanted was my cheeseburger, my milkshake and fries. It was super noisy, but it was all drowned by the sheer loudness of jaws biting on fries. The oil was all over my lips, unglamorous.

I overheard a game going on. "Shopping List" was the name. Yanfen would have a shopping list ready, and those who brought her what's on the list would get a gift. So there was keys, black shoe, coins, watch, those little knick-knacks. Then they were asking for keys again. But this time wasn't keys, she meant "kiss". Then everyone started chanting my name. I didn't know what was going on. So I stood on my chair. The clown called out to me, I said I have no keys. He signaled me to come over, which I did. Next, he pointed to his lips and said "kiss" and signaled me to kiss Yanfen.

The sudden realization of the situation finally dawn upon me. Then I realized, my lips were all greased up by the fries. I frantically tried to wipe it down with my hands, some offered napkins. Where's a blotter when I needed one.

So I leaned forward. So many camera flashes went. She shy-ed away. My lips didn't touch her cheeks. One more try. I lean forward, and she backed off again. The third time was good. I leaned in and gave her a peck. Everyone cheered. And I got a mug as a prize, which has been missing since forever.

My parents came and picked me up. It was hard explaining to them how I came home with that gift.

That's the story of my first crush and first kiss.
What's yours. Let's hear it.

First Love

How many actually remember your first crush? I did. Actually, I recently met up with her, thanks to mutual friends. And we were "made" to sit with each other throughout. I fell asleep halfway (cos the seats were too darn comfortable!) I was all excited when we planned to meet, but as it drew closer, I kinda dreaded it. Like it'd be so awkward, not knowing what to say and all that.

Friends arranged to meet Girl(to protect her identity and my dignity)last Sunday, knowing that I invited myself, just to see her. Friends agreed, without Girl's knowledge, they just told her they got a surprise gift for her. But she'd guessed it. So we went into the packed arena, she was late, so we reserved a seat next to me. And she came wearing a blue dress. I've seen her photos, but she really did look very different from the last time I left her. The girl was very friendly throughout, I didn't know what she was thinking, but I was recalling some really old memories with her. And the whole time I was trying to picture her smaller, younger, just the way I liked her then. Oh, the way she talked, coughed, seemed oh strangely too familiar. She's leaving to get her PR soon, maybe that'll be the last I'll see of her.

It was great just seeing her again, even though it was just so short, couldn't really catch up, and for some reason, I wasn't myself that day. It's been 15 years since we've spoken, but I'm glad we did.