So some of you might have heard I've found a job. Amidst all the searching, I've found an uncanny similarity between the search for a job and a mate. It's just my own observation, so don't quote me on your essay papers. You might screw the paper up.
1. the search
There's an old saying. There's many fishes in the sea. Works both ways. Look at the newspaper today, there's aplenty of jobs (girls) everywhere. But not all suit you. Everyone has someone or a "type" in mind. The goody-two-shoes, angelic saint, naughty-but-nice, wildwildwild, intelligent, outgoing, athletic, the list goes on to management, sales, retail, media, teaching, government, military, politics. laa dee daa.
2. the fling
Depending on time, sometimes people just want to look a fling (temp), no string attached (no contract). While others are ready to settle down for a career (potential wife). Sometimes people moonlight with other freelancing jobs (affair). And some even need several to stay alive.
3. the headhunters
So after spending money on college, books and seminars (contact lenses, clothes and hair gel) to groom yourself with skills and knowledge, you finally graduate and start your search for the perfect one. Some guys, as they say, have all the luck. Others don't. Some better looking with higher GPAs are snapped up as quickly as they reach puberty. So too the ladies hunt them down, and mulit-national companies (MNC) lasso them in. The average looking and the not so talented ones sends out at least a dozen resumes, attend several interviews (dates) with several companies (women), and is probably still waiting a reply from the companies at home with their mommy. The dropouts (fugly people) are pretty much useless in this area. Unless of course they have special talents or skills that are specialized and needed by some fields of work (freaks).
4. the interview
I like to see it as the first date, first impression. If you messed up, you can start sing, "na na na na Hey hey hey Goodbyeee" So you put on your Sunday's best, "no jeans" they say. "Put on a tie" You get there 30min earlier. You bring along your credentials (flowers) to make you look good. You carry snazzy accessories (perfume, hair gel, snake-skinned bag) to show you have class and style. You walk with confidence. Big smile. Ever so polite with "please" and "thank you"s. You pulled out the chair, offered to pay, offered to give her a ride home. She looks at you and smiles, you look outside and you see a queue of people waiting in line. You pray that you don't see a friend behind.
5. the contract
So after several meetings, lunches and tests. They've finally agreed. You're on top of the world. She sits down with you and draws out a contract. It states your position: Creative Assistant (boyfriend) your working hours (times of the day to call and report), your salary (benefits). And you sign on the dotted line.
6. the work
So, if that's the type you were looking for, you'll probably have the time of your life. If NOT, you're dreading each day and complaining it to your friends over dinner. Oh wait you can't, she's having dinner with you. Some days just drags on. You stay up all night, sometimes you bring work home. Sometimes you call in sick just to skip work. You asks for a day off, and you get THE look. It states in the contract a minimum of 44 hours work week, but the key word in that statement is MINIMUM.
7. the promotion
So after working so hard. You get a promotion. From Creative Assistant to Creative Executive. Yeah, you can do more things now, more responsibilities. You probably attend more meetings at the office with the board of directors (her parents). And you probably get to move up bases when the umpire isn't looking.
8. the rival companies
After watching you promote and clinching so many deals, the other companies are starting to take notice. They send out headhunters at you. And other women notice you dress better, only because you can, and give you their phone numbers. They send you secret messages to butter you up, and inform you of the benefits of joining them. These companies are usually bigger companies, reputed for its underhand (back-stabbing) methods. You are tempted. Should you jump ship for the better benefits? Or do you stay loyal?
9. the "you are fired" (due to copyright issues I can't use the famous line)
You messed up. Caused the company to lose millions of dollars because you forgot its anniversary. The board of directors gives THAT face. Sometimes, the rival company (see pt.8) presents you an offer you can't resist. You want to initiate the resignation. So you either stop coming to work altogether (cold treatment) or you try to explain your case, that it really isn't her fault. You give back the company's christmas gift and you pack your table. Or you're just sick and bored of the work and people at the office. You want a change of scenery, a new challenge.
What do you do?
You start back at 1
